Monday, May 11, 2015

The Labour Party leadership contenders

The main candidates to replace Ed Miliband and my extremely unbiased assessment of their strengths and weaknesses.

Yvette Cooper
Possibly the most boring on-the-record speaker in the entire Labour Party. No voter has ever managed to stay awake during the entirety of an Yvette Cooper speech. Not a time to go for the soporific strategy, comrades.

Andy Burnham
Being the political wing of UNITE is a serious strategy for a future Labour victory. Right, Andy?

Chuka Umunna
Smart, well-connected and telegenic, this former lawyer may be the most irritating of the crop. I won't mention smug, vain and prone to flaunting an assumed intellectual superiority he does not in fact possess. Appeals to the Hampstead crowd and perhaps, in an Obama-esque fashion, to ethnic communities with whom he culturally and materially shares very little.

Update [Friday May 15th 2015]. Umunna has now withdrawn in murky circumstances.

Rachel Reeves
One of the better ones, handicapped by low recognition outside the bubble.

Dan Jarvis
Good CV, allegedly. Apart from that, no-one outside the bubble has ever heard of Dan Jarvis, and few within. Update: just heard he's already withdrawn.

Tristram Hunt
Why would this disingenuous posh boy even think of leading the worker's party? Way too pleased with himself.

Liz Kendall
A senior manager once asked his team: "If this guy is as good as you say, why haven't I seen more of him?" Having said that, she is probably one of the good guys here.


Since we don't know the mission, choosing the mission leader is a little fraught. Should be a fun few months.

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