An honest epitaph

I'm not sure that human beings are intrinsically selfish except in the 'selfish gene' concept, where genes (alleles) inhabit multiple related individuals (and this). But the rest seems spot on. Click on the image to make it larger.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-05-24

Some variant might work on  my headstone, I'm thinking.

Chipped

http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-06-26

I elected to be unsedated during my own procedure. There were a few gut-wrenching moments (I choose my words), one of which could conceivably have been the moment when the colonic chip was implanted. Now you mention it, I have had some strange experiences close to 'contactless' terminals recently ...