'X-cort 2028' - a satire by Adam Carlton

X-Cort 2028

She shimmers in the surf on a sultry afternoon.

I stand a way back.

Her leg stretches, heel pushing sand aside, wetness oozing into the furrow. Her fingers play at the hem of her tiny beach dress.

"Do you like me?" she says.

Her name is Tabitha, I remember that now. She has a Slavic accent, like that President's wife. Cat's eyes, high cheekbones.

"I find you extremely attractive," I say. 

I'm calm, mellow, in control.

Tabitha leans back on the beach towel, her breasts more prominent now. She gazes skywards, runs a hand through her hair, turns to me.

"Come here and help me up," she whispers.

I nod compliantly and approach. The tip of her tongue wets her lips. She offers a languorous hand and...

I notice a small tattoo on her thigh. What does it say?

X-cort.

What?

---

The technician sits before a bank of screens. Tensor modes paint patterns on his face. He slouches back, drinking coffee from a styrofoam mug, plainly bored.

His supervisor is managing by walking around; they still do that here.

"What's up?"

"They're doing introductions. You sure you want it regular? Not the, ah, special mode?"

A brief flash of hopeful anticipation lights up the tech's eyes.

"Keep it on script," says the supervisor. And notices an anomaly on one of the screens.

"Uh-oh. Careless," he says. "'He noticed the tag. Zap him will you. That'll have to go to bugfix."

The tech leans across and moves some sliders.

---

"James," breathes Tabitha, "We have an hour before dinner. I'd like you to escort me to my room and help me... relax..."

Now the alarm bells are really ringing... but I recall I've been trained for this. I give her my warmest smile and make my apologies. Everything I say is designed to make her feel comfortable.

---

It was nearly time for Tabitha and James to leave X and those timeless Californian beaches: time to transition to production. It's been such a lengthy journey from those scary Boston Dynamics days.

But now the company was ready to embrace its users as never before.