Saturday, October 30, 2010

Thai Brides

We were watching “Thai Brides” on Dave, one of those Louis Theroux programmes (don’t ask!).

The 56 year old ex-serviceman with the swept-back orange hair, Alan Whicker glasses and moustache, PTSD requiring regular medication and the cheap flat in Yarmouth didn’t seem much of a catch. To every Thai woman he met in the Bangkok offices of the “Thai Brides” company he professed undying love (pointlessly as they typically spoke little English). He got lucky on the third date with a matronly woman who seemed to see something in him beyond his manifestly loser credentials and indeed agreed to marry him.

They separated eight days later.

I said to Clare: “He is such a creep that he can’t get an English woman; even desperate Thai women with no English can’t stand to be near him. What he needs is a state-of-the-art sex doll.”

Clare was less convinced: “Can they cook?”

Gentle reader, to save you delving into what must seem an unsavoury subject, let me give you the main conclusions. Technological innovation in this area is quite intense: current models look good, have realistic silicone skin, can actually converse with their “owners” and even understand their replies if they keep it simple (but remember what we’re talking about here).

There appear to be no issues in satisfying the primary requirements.

The 'RealDoll' is on the left

I am given to understand that all this technology comes with a weight overhead ... they’re difficult to move around and place back on their hangars when not in use. Also, the power-to-weight ratio of existing motors makes realistic movement something for future releases.

In “The Innovator’s Dilemma” Clayton M. Christensen described how new paradigms are often pioneered by small companies starting with barely-adequate products at the, er, bottom of the market. However, they do get some traction, and climbing the technology curve they take increasing market share until the previous product is rendered obsolete and incumbent companies fail.

Sex dolls will certainly do the same for prostitution and it’s wholly to be welcomed. The drug-addled wrecks plying the streets of red-light districts will be the first to go, replaced by purpose-built establishments housing far more attractive and sanitary life-like dolls in buildings which can’t even be classified as brothels. The up-market ‘escorts’ who can hold their own at dinner as well as in the bedroom may follow suit but not I suspect in this century.

“Thai Bride” companies, please do some proper screening. If the client is like Louis T. roll out the aspirant girls; if they’re scary losers have a heart guys and book them with the mail-order version ... please!