Saturday, May 26, 2018

Lynmouth Tales: 2 - A deckchair protocol

Deckchairs for hire on the bank to the left

It was a warm afternoon with a chill wind at Lynmouth. Deckchairs on the sunny bank of the Lyn promised a pleasant hour. The sign said: 'Deckchair tickets - £1.50 per day'.

We unloaded two from the half-empty rack and settled down to join the six or so other people sunning themselves out of the breeze. After a few minutes, a rather portly, suntanned man in his fifties wearing red shorts and sporting a leather bag approached.

"As it's three o'clock, there's a discount. That'll be a pound each."

We thanked him profusely.

---

"How many desk chairs do you think there are here?"

"About a dozen"

"So in theory, that's a revenue of £18 a day. What's the minimum wage?"

"About £8 per hour."

OK, so the total revenue from this site - taking his sign at face value - is just over two hours pay. But of course, we know it doesn't work like that. People don't stay and the moment they up and leave, someone else comes along and he charges them for 'all day' as well."

"At 3 pm the pretence of 'all day' is wearing pretty thin, so we got our discount."

"And if someone comes back with their ticket and all the deckchairs are occupied, then they'll just ask for a refund, which of course he'll give them. How often does that happen, d'you think?"

(Snorts). "They'd have to find him first. Bet he only comes along every couple of hours. We won't see him again until it's time to pack these things away."

"So he knows his sign is bogus and we all know it's bogus but any more complex timed reservation scheme would be more trouble than it's worth. You know what this reminds me of? Statistical multiplexing like the original shared Ethernet."

I looked, but she was already asleep.

---

After an hour we got up to return to our car. As we approached the steps we spotted another couple coming down. Clare approached and pressed our tickets into their hands.

"They're good for all day. Please have them. We're leaving now."

As we crossed the bridge towards our car, I saw them settling into two vacant deckchairs. Turning to Clare I said,

"You do understand you've just wrecked his whole business model?"

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