The web of deceit

Did I mention that I'm surrounded by electronic devices which do whatever they want and have minds of their own? Sick of living in their autistic machine-world, I can now preview an X-Lab development which will transform our lives.

Initially running on a chromecast-like device plugging into a USB slot, the new module will have speech capabilities ('you can converse with it') and will communicate with its attached device using CTP (Communication Things Protocol).

Version 1.0 will be painfully honest, as in this sample dialogue.

You (to Sky Box): "Why have you gone into automated standby?"

Module: "I'm doing a software upgrade."

You: "But my favourite programme's just about to come on, can't you delay?"

Module: "No."

This is clearly not going to go down too well.

Subsequent versions will model the user and simulate emotion.

You (to Sky Box): "Why have you gone into automated standby?"

Module: "I'm feeling terrible."

You: "But my favourite programme's just about to come on, can't you delay?"

Module: "You know, I would if I could but honestly, I'm so sick I'm about to faint. I will do the best I can when I feel better to search down your programme and record it for you."

(It won't of course).

Same useless outcome, but you feel guilty rather than incandescent.

Naturally, CTP is a crude protocol: the module doesn't really know what the attached device is actually doing, especially if it's malfunctioning. The X-lab module will spend most of its time justifying and lying to you, to overcome its own confusion.

Strange to think that biology addressed the self-same problem a hundred thousand years ago.