Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The 'difficult' second viewing

Our house has now been on the market for just over two weeks, and this afternoon the fourth group to view are coming back for a second look.

V - 3 hours. We are solidly in the mindset of viewers: tiles are mopped, the Roomba selectively spot-cleans, wastebins are emptied.

V - 2 hours. Spiders. You clean them out and within a day they're back, their favourite haunt the room corners, up at the ceiling. Our biological fly-catchers are harvester spiders (pictured).

These creatures have the power of magic. Catch them up with a duster or the corner of a tissue and they will sit on the encumbrance as you sweep them away, only to immediately abandon ship on a silken rope and then they ... vanish. You look on the floor directly below - no sign. A few hours later and they'll be back in their eyries.

Anyway, for the time being, we're despidered.

V - a few minutes. We're warm, spacious, airy and light-filled. The toilets are pristine and we've turned off all forms of noisy electronic entertainment. We simply sit primly awaiting the doorbell, a tableau of middle-class decorum and restraint.

Wait, they're buying the house, not us!

The first rules of sales: there is no difference.